Thursday, February 4, 2010

Garbage Drafts From The Last 25 Years

The 2002 NBA draft definitely makes First Team All-Shit for this topic -which hopefully becomes a regular feature post on this fine site.

Top 20 went like this (Editor's Note: I haven't followed the NBA closely since Reggie Lewis died, so please correct me if I'm wrong):

Yao - Good, but injury prone
Jay Williams - Career a car wreck, literally
Mike Dunleavy - Gay
Drew Gooden - Eh
Nikoloz Tskitishvili - WTF? Really?
Dajaun Wagner - A whopping 28 career starts in the NBA. His middle name is "Marquett," so that's a bonus. Yes, sans "e" at the end.
Nene Hilario - Pretty good player, but how would you like to be Nuggets fan...with the 5th and 7th picks you get Tskitter and Nene? LOL. Now THAT'S how you excite a fan base!
Chris Wilcox - I was HUGE on this guy coming out of Maryland. Fail.
Amare Stoudemire - Good
"Racine's Own" Caron Butler - Good
Jared Jeffries - Somehow, he's still an NBA starter
Melvin Ely - I believe he got shut down by Andy Kowske in the NCAA's. That's all you need to know about Melvin Ely.
Marcus Haslip - OUCH!
Fred Jones - He could jump...that's about it.
Bostjan Nachbar - I think he's Tskitishvili's cousin
Juri Welsh - Was he a Buck at some point?
Juan Dixon - Wins award for "Most Predictable Good College Player Who Will Get Drafted Too Early And Suck In The NBA" from this draft. Former winners include Mateen Cleaves, Kirk Haston, JR Ried, almost everybody from Duke, and Marcus Fizer.
Curtis Borchardt - A modern-day Loren Meyer.
Ryan Humphrey - I have zero recollection of this guy in College. He played at Notre Dame. Was he black? White? Center? Guard? Anyone?
Kareem Rush - No clue about his NBA exploits, but I do remember the Brothers Rush always being in hot water with the NCAA. We'll just assume Kareem smoked his way out of the NBA in three years.

If there was a re-draft of this greasefire tomorrow, It would probably look something like this:

Carlos Boozer
Tayshaun Prince
And the rest of the teams would forefiet their picks to save cap space.

So there it is, the 2002 NBA's SHIIIIIIITTASTIC!!


  1. Good stuff - I think this post could become a regular feature ("Garbage Drafts from the Last 25 Years") - there are plenty of them to talk about across the NBA and NFL over that time frame.

    Overall I agree that this draft was complete junk, but Dunleavy Jr. (despite his gayness and whiteness) has been a pretty decent NBA player when healthy, including the high watermark season of '07-08 where he averaged 19.1 ppg (47% shooting), with 5 boards and 3.5 assists per game. Maybe not #3 overall good, but respectable.

    Other than that total refuse. Oh, and Kareem Rush did manage to cobble together an active journeyman career in the NBA as a crap guard to come in as the 8 or 9th guy off the bench. 4 or 5 different teams since 2002.

  2. Yes - Juan Dixon wins the "Bobby Hurley Award" for the 2002 NBA Draft.

    That stain was picked in the top 10 by the Kings. Oops! I'd rather have Joe Alexander.