The Threshold Game

I apologize in advance. Just read 700 pages of Bill Simmons, so I've started to think and write like him.

We've got a game going at work called "The Threshold Game." Basically, what's the lowest common denominator of doing something. Work Example:

Would you bang the hottest chick in the office, if you first had to bang the fattest (and I'm talking Mark Mangino-fat)? No.

Would you bang the hottest chick AND the 2nd hottest, if you first had to bang the fattest? Hmmm...no.

Would you bang the hottest, 2nd hottest, and nobody ever knew you banged the worst? Deal.

BINGO - that's how the Threshold Game works. Get it? You can use this for millions of situations.

Which brings up a subject I've debated for about 15 years now. What's the lowest level of basketball that would beat a WNBA team?

First, I'll give you a lame real-world example in which I participated. In 7th grade hoops, we scrimmaged the High School Varsity Girls team. We destroyed them, it wasn't even close. And A) we sucked, B) they lost like 3 games all year, and C) they wouldn't let us block shots. So, for context, a crappy 7th grade boys team rolled one of the best Varsity Girls team in school history. Rolled!

I think it's pretty obvious all NBA, and D1 schools would destroy a WNBA team. We'll even take the best WNBA team, the Phoenix Mercury (yes, I had to look this up).

Next, lets take a mediocre DIII squad - oh, say, UW-Eau Claire. I know the tallest team doesn't always win, but WNBA's Mercury has a mere 4 players over 6-0 tall, and zero players over 200 pounds. UWEC? Again, a pretty crappy D3 squad: Everyone is at least 6" (with 10 at least 6"-5") and 11 at least 200 pounds. UWEC would absolutely destroy the WNBA chanps.

After this, to make a long story short, we decided the top 10 high school squads in Wisconsin (Washington, Tosa East, Madison Memorial, Vincent, Oshkosh West, etc...) would win, also would 8 random guys from Lincoln Park in Milwaukee or James Madison park in Madison.

What's my point? I have no idea other than work is more fun to playing The Threshold Game at than doing actual work. Agree? Disagree? And wouldn't this increase you viewership of WNBA games? If the Phoenix Lesbians played Milwaukee King HS, would you watch? I would. I think this should be proposed to Mr. Stern.

Apparently some Twins fans still think Johan Santana is on the roster...

...despite the fact that he hasn't been on their roster since early 2008 and has played two seasons for the New York Mets. Strange, huh?

Yet there I was, sitting about 15 rows up from the 3rd base line, cheering on my ice cold Tigers in the Metrodump, this Friday night and staring at least 8 to 10 people in my section still donning #57 jerseys. What is up with this? Can we get a moratorium on how long you are allowed to wear traded/cut/released player jerseys that are still active in the league? I'm thinking it should be 1 year. I'm not saying never wear them, just keep them in the closet on game day. Seems fair to me, you get one season to pool your money and buy some apparel that is relavant to your team in the here and now. If this catches on (unlikely), that means all you Brewers fans will have to hang up the Sabathia jerseys at the end of the season.

Should this bother me? Probably not, but right now I'm just annoyed for being treated like an a-hole for showing up to a road game in a Verlander jersey. Hey, at least he PLAYS on my team, right? Anyways, this is just a cathartic way for me to release my frustration for the Tigers getting shut out tonight. More fun Metrodome musings and pics later this weekend...