WTF Happened To Sosa's Grill??

Apparently after years of shooting roids, using corked bats, and pretending not to speak English, this is what happens to your face. The horror! As for the lady? Um, were those a two-for-one special at Costco? This link for a close up - if you dare.

Step 1: Take Supplements. Step 2: Hit Baseball

Mark McGwire is the new St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach.

Just read that last sentence again, slowly. I'm not even making it up.

It's almost as if Tony LaRussa was coming up with a list of ridiculous demands prior to agreeing to manage again for another year, and this was one of them.

Other possible LaRussa demands prior to returning for 2010:

1. That the club remove all ignition interlock devices from his personal vehicles.

2. A "hot production assistant like Steve Phillips got from ESPN."

3. That Ned Yost become manager of the Milwaukee Brewers again.

4. A closer.

5. A red Snuggie.