Ted Nugent called. He wants his jersey back.

Got my NFL.com Shop catalog in the mail today - and bumped into this abomination while looking at the jerseys.  Now, I'm a fan of alternate colors, throwbacks, etc., but this thing has got to be one of the worst looking jersey's I've ever seen.  This model is what Reebok calls a "Realtree" Replica jersey.  What its replicating I'm not sure - vomit on a burnt out lawn or some bad artwork from a motel room in Minoqua or Spooner are my first two guesses.  Its also perfect if you want to look like the cover of every 'Field and Stream' magazine ever published.

Packer fans, explain this one too me, please.  The blaze orange nonsense at Lambeau is bad enough (and has nothing to do with football).  This appears to be the next step in the evolution of stereotyping Packer fans.  Nicely done Reebok. You have made it possible for hundreds of Packer fans to come in from a long morning of hunting, and not have to change into their green and gold. Oh, and for those interested there is also a Clay Matthews #52 model.  Blond mullet is optional.

I can't wait until they make one of these 'Realtree' models for  Bucks fans, so I can promptly gouge my eyes out.

Rollin' solo at Fifth-Third Park

Traveling for work has its ups and downs, but one of the perks is the ability to check out the scene in other cities during your down time.  This week found me on the beautiful west coast of Michigan with a free evening.  I've meant to hit up a West Michigan Whitecaps (Tigers Single A affiliate) game for about 2 years now, as I travel to Michigan for work pretty regularly, but the Whitecaps and my schedule never seemed to line up until this Wednesday.  So I made the short drive from my hotel up to Comstock Park, MI (a small town just north of Grand Rapids) to Fifth-Third Ballpark.  Now, I haven't been to a lot of different Single A ballgames, but I am very familiar with the Beloit Snappers (formerly Brewers, now Twins Single A affiliate).  The Snappers game experience is generally good, cheap food/beer, cheap seats, modest crowds, a fun dancing turtle mascot, etc.  Relative to that, I was not prepared for weeknight Whitecap baseball.

As I approached the exit ramp to get to the stadium, I thought I was pulling up behind an accident.  The ramp was backed up well onto the US-131 - but nope, no fender-bending jackasses impeded me.  It was 'game-day' traffic!  My mind immediately panicked with the thought that I might have to pay for parking.  I only had $5 in my wallet, and had planned on getting raked for a $3 service charge at one of the many Fifth-Third ATMs I would surely find throughout the Park.  How much could they possibly charge for parking at a Single A baseball game?  Five bucks exactly, apparently.  Whatever, a five-spot seemed a little steep (considering how far away I ended up) - but now I was intrigued, what with the crowd this team was drawing on a Wednesday evening.  10 minutes later, I'm up to the Box office, and had nabbed a padded seat behind homeplate for $13.

Pleased with my accomodations, I ran back up to the concession stand for a brat and a beer - my usual starter for an eve at the ballpark.  I see they have two beer sizes, regular and 'Huge' - and being from Wisconsin, of course I go for the 'Huge' for $6.75, thinking this will be the usual equivalent of the Miller Park 24 oz. 'large' beer.  Wrong.  Near as I could tell, for just shy of 7 bucks, I now had 44 oz of beer in my lap.  So back to my seat and time to settle in, as the top of the second was just about to close.  First off, I notice how busy this place was for a Wednesday evening.  I estimated there were about 4,000 fans there - far more than I've ever seen at a Snappers game, even on a weekend, complete with a Don Money bobblehead giveaway and post-game fireworks.  No giveaways for the Whitecaps on this night, just great weather and, apparently, beers that could drown a basking shark.  However, the coming Saturday was scheduled to be Larry Herndon bobble head night, a great draw for any of us who were fans of that magnificant '84 squad.  Wish I could be around to make it for that one.

To my right, I realize I'm sitting next to the scout seats (always a good sign that your vantage will be excellent), as several fellows sat with their radar guns and laptops, charting every pitch.  The Whitecaps were playing Appleton's own Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (Brewers Single A Low affiliate) this night, with righty and 2008 5th round pick, Maverick Lasker getting the start.  He stood out right away (and not just because of his excellent baseball name), as he was dominating the 'Caps early with a low 90s fastball, and a nice breaking pitch (see vid below I shot of him chewing thru the Whitecaps in the bottom of the 5th). If you're a Brewers fan, this is worth the 2 minutes to watch, he seems to have pretty good stuff.  There's also a freaking gigantic flagpole out in centerfield worth seeing at about 0:50, too.


All game the Baby Tigers seemed to have very poor plate discipline, frequently first pitch swinging into popups and soft groundouts.  But Lasker was real good too.  Just a first impression, but given the Brew Crew's pitching woes, I wouldn't be surprised in the least to see this kid tossing in Miller Park in a couple years.

At any rate, as the game progressed I found myself really enjoying the relaxed crowd, my spacious padded seat, and even the mediocre brat.  What an excellent little corner of Americana I had found here.  After the 7th, I took a little walk around the stadium, to see what my other food choices were.  Again, I was not disappointed.  BBQ, wraps, taco salad, and even elephant ears were all there for the taking, in addition to the now-famous 'Fifth-Third Burger'.  If you haven't heard of this thing, do yourself a favor and locate the episode of 'Man vs. Food' where my guru, Adam Richman, takes that behemoth down.  His pic is up there on the wall, so its all legit.  For $20 you get 4,900 calories, and only 300 grams of fat.  Talk about value - I saw a group of 6 or 7 kids a few rows down from me get one to split.  That's probably the way to go.

So, in the end my Tigers in Training lost to the Rattlers, 3-1.  But I have to say, I had a hell of a time, especially for flying solo.  While I spent more money than I had expected for Single A ball, I had a much better time than expected too.  It was nice to sit amongst fans who largely all adorned the Olde English D, and just wanted to enjoy some summer baseball.  Grand Rapids has a good thing going with this team/stadium - so check it out if you're in the area.

One last interesting piece of info about the West Michigan Whitecaps - they used to be the Madison Muskies.  In fact, they were selling old Muskies caps in the gift shop for $15.  Cool, huh?

Where's Waldo - Minnesota Sports edition

Since milquetoast Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress AKA 'Chilly' AKA 'Secret Squirrel' has made the pilgrimmage down to Hattiesburg, I thought it might be appropriate to play a round of "Where's Waldo - Minnesota Sports Edition", given this pic I've been holding on to for just the right moment.  Apparently Chilly also visited Favre during his rookie years.  See if you can find him in this pic... take your time, and check your background.

Ok - bonus round now.  See if you can find Joe Mauer in his pic of his 4th Grade Basketball Holiday Tourney Team

Nice work everyone.

I miss advertising like this.

I was never a big fan of GM's Pontiac line of cars from the 80s on up (with the exception of the mid-80s Fiero, and the more recent G8), but I was a big fan of their 'We Build Excitement' commercials.   Murdock, you can keep your Barbosol ads - this is one has much higher production values, and fewer women who have an unreasonable fear of hirsute men.  Catchy riffs and backbeat, glam rock band in silhouette, overly masculine female vocals, some couple arguing (presumably over who gets to drive that '88 Grand Am), a look of acknowledgement from the gay couple across the street.  This ad has it all.

And to top it off, it looks like it was filmed on the set of Miami Vice.  Crank up your headphones and enjoy.

The 2010 NFL Draft - Round 1, A Few Quick Observations

The Thursday broadcast of the NFL 2010 Draft first round closed out last night around 10:15 PM (CST), and I was left a feeling a bit sad. Not because of the picks my Lions made (I love Suh, and am okay with coming up to get Best), but because I wanted another round or two. There was something special about the football geekery of watching round after round after round and completely wasting a Saturday in April’s past. Now this thing is getting more accessible and friendly to the less than die hard fans, by breaking it apart into more palatable chunks. True the damn first round was still 4+ hours long, but we were just getting warmed up dammit!

I really wanted to see if the Vikings would indeed grab Clausen at #34 or if the Rams would deal, and let someone else jump up to #33 and take him in fear of the Vikings selecting the him. Personally, I’d love it if Favre nixes another year, and leaves the Vikings with T-Jack and Clausen to flutter passes into the turf all season. Now I have to wait until tonight.

Some other observations:

- I thought ESPN’s coverage was awfully awkward for some stretches. Some weird spans of silence happened a few times, and that pinkish-orange light they had Chuckie and Steve Young bathed in made it look like they spent too much time on the tanning bed.

- Speaking of Steve Young, that guy needs to do something about his hair. It’s clear that he’s nearly completely bald on top, and he looks foolish gelling up what he does have left up there. Get a rug, some plugs, or man up and don’t hide it Steve.

- Roger Goodell seemed extra huggy-huggy with some of the picks.  He embraced Drew Brees at the end of the 1st round more than was probably necessary

- Although its happened in years past, I was more annoyed than ever this year with the camera being on the kid on the phone who is about to be drafted. It takes all the suspense out of the Commish’s announcement.

- The best drama of the night was when Denver traded up to get Tebow at #25. Mel Kiper looked like he was gonna have a stroke, Steve Young was irate, and Tom Jackson was beside himself. That’s the kind of reality TV I like to watch.

- I’m tired of hearing what a ‘class-act’ another player who wasn’t drafted yet is because he was gracious enough to acknowledge and congratulate someone drafted in front of him. Case in point, Jimmy Clausen texting a congratulations to Tim Tebow. Whatever – it doesn’t take much to do this, just a minor sense of decency.

- I’m also tired with the over-the-top ‘fan’ reactions to every pick. And its not just Eagles and Jets fans now either. They need to start screening who they let in there (or at least stop panning the audience), as every year it seems to be a larger and larger collection of assholes and miscreants.  I found myself wishing Goodell would let loose a few of the D-lineman drafted early into the stands to clear out some of the riffraff. Seeing Suh and McCoy bounce some a-hole Pats fan out on a cold, hard New York sidewalk is an appealing image to me.

Exhibition Baseball Fever - Representin' Ye Olde English D

Really, I should be spending my time this evening saying something about the Bucks, and their hard road now that Bogut is done for the season following his gruesome injury.  If by some stroke of luck you haven't seen this injury replay - you may want to skip it altogether.  It's bad, and nearly on par with the Theismann's leg getting destroyed.

But like Mr. Fitz-Hume, I also spent my time at Miller Park for some exhibition baseball this weekend and given that its opening day, I'd rather talk about that. I'm the resident Tigers fan here, but I enjoy the Brewers and usually go to Miller Park for 5-6 games a year.  Given my aversion to travel in the American South, and the fact that the Brewers and Tigers don't meet in inter-league play this year, these exhibition games were the perfect way to get a preview of my squad before the season started.  The price was right ($10 for seats everywhere in the lower levels) and being within shouting distance of Old Man Leyland is my idea of a fun evening.  So I headed over to the ballpark with a bud of mine on Friday night, and we were disgusted to find that they were charging $10 for parking.  Ugh.  My seats in Section 113, Row 14 cost as much to park the damn car.  Whatever, I just wanted to bust the Olde English 'D' outta my closet, have a few brews, and see Drinky Cabrera, Maggs, and friends.   The seats were great.  Close enough that I decided to break out my newest toy to shoot a few vids. See video below for a little taste of some nice Brewers bases loaded defense late in the game. Clearly, I'm not much of a cinamatographer.



Aside from a brief run in with the standard pain in the ass sawed off runt of a fan who felt the need to tell me the 'Tigers really suck, huh?' after the game, a terrific evening.  I got to see the new Tigers I was curious about up close (Scott Sizemore and Austin Jackson) and caught a nice cross-section of what Max Scherzer is all about.

Then on Saturday, like many other Tiger fans - I was right back in my seats for another go, this time with the entire family in tow.  It's not often I'll get a chance to bring the 4 of us down to sit in infield box seats for under $50, so I thank the Brewers for that.  The wife and boys enjoyed themselves, and I got what I wanted again, but with lots more runs in the second go-round (Tigers hit 5 HRs).  Nice to see that Austin Jackson's bat is hot going into the season, as he looks like he'll ease the pain I felt from losing Baby Grand (my favorite MLBer since Sweet Lou Whitaker).  I was excited to see Joel Zumaya come out for some work, but disappointed once he started throwing.  His control was dismal, at one point throwing 7 balls in a row.  He never touched triple digits either (but did hit 99 mph a couple times).  A far cry from the last time I saw him in person (vs. Milwaukee last year in Detroit) when he came in to strike out Hart in 3 pitches.  All fastballs, going 99, 101, and 103 mph.  Here's Leyland giving him the hook shortly after Santiago let the easy double play ball go through the wickets.

And speaking of Hart, I'm truly disgusted with the number of Corey Hart fans that were in attendance.  Everywhere I looked there was a damn #1 jersey.  Like Mr. Fitz-Hume, I also chalk it up to the low IQ fanbase in attendance more than anything. Hart jerseys and people who don't understand the value of OBP are one thing, but I also had to endure these two jackassess...

...who made it their obnoxious mission all game to be the center of attention by getting up and dancing between almost every pitch.  Thanks guys.  My moment of redemption came when they starting chanting  "Jaaackson.  Jaaaackson.  You Suck!", after which Austin proceeded to hit a blast over the wall in dead center. And then there was the blond bimbo twenty-something female in my row, who wanted to come off as some kind of hitting expert by continuously shouting at Jim Edmonds to "Tighten up your stance! You can't run if you stand like that!!!"  Gee, ya think a guy with 16 years of MLB experience and a career 0.284 average might know a little about how to hit a baseball and get out of the box?  Just a thought.

Some other observations:
1)  Tiger fans really did come out pretty strong.  It was cool to see.

2)  A tip for Gregg Zaun - if you're going to use 'Rush' for your AB music, 'Limelight' is not the best choice.  'Working Man' works much better.

3) Carlos Gomez seems like he has a new lease on life in Milwaukee.  As a student of the AL Central, I've watched him play at Minnesota, and he almost seemed to have a cloud over him because he was the guy they got when they dealt Johan.  He could be a real difference maker on the Brewers (and it looks like he had a stellar opening day against the Rockies)

4) The Tigers have a ridiculous amount of hard throwing pitchers.  Verlander, Scherzer, Zumaya, Coke, Schlereth, and Valverde can all touch the mid to upper 90s routinely.  For better or worse, that's the Dombrowski way - Power Pitching.

5) Brandon Inge remains one of the slickest fielding 3rd basemen in the game.  He made several plays both games that should have been infield singles.  His glove doesn't get enough respect.

6) The jumbo pretzels that Murdock turned me on to last season, are even better when you go with the cinnamon sugar option.  Stay away from the garlic salt though (learned that the hard way in '09 - sorry Section 214).

7) My wife completed her collection of 'Racing Sausage Beanie Babies', purchasing '#4 Hot Dog' on our way out.  If the Brewers want her to continue buying souvenirs, they need to add another sausage to the group eventually.  My suggestion - some kind of smoked sausage.  He can run with a stogie in his mouth or something.  That or a little Vienna sausage, that is some midget in a costume roughly half the size of the others.

For those of you enjoying meaningful baseball today in person - I'm looking forward to your reflections on another opening day at Miller Park.

Adventures in Bradley Centering-Bucks get by Grizz

Ah, the Sunday afternoon NBA game.  They don't come up that often, and there's something about walking out of the BC and into the bright sunlight that is different and appealing.  For that reason alone, I was looking forward to this game.  And so, given the 'easy like Sunday morning' feel the day had,  my oldest son and I headed down to the BC for a pre-game lunch and a Bucks game versus the Grizzlies.

First stop - I decided to give 'Centercourt' (formerly 'Gametime') a try for some eats.   Like many, I always loved the location of 'Gametime', but found their food to be reprehensible.  I had heard earlier in the season that 'Centercourt' was not just a name change, but also completely new ownership, and that the food was surprisingly good.  My son agreed to try it out, disappointed that he wouldn't be getting rockets filled with peanuts carpet bombing him at AJ Bombers, but willing to give it a go, since they assuredly had chicken fingers on the menu.  After surveying their board of fare, I found several items that sounded appetizing, but ultimately went with the pulled pork sandwich, made with their own house BBQ sauce.  It was messily good, and the bun in particular was outstanding.  The boy had the chicken fingers, which looked terrific.  I ended up snagging one from him in trade for a pickle and some candy to be named later.  It was outstanding, and definitely not fried up out of some box Sysco pulled off the freezer truck. Hand-cut and hand-breaded most likely. To top it off, the service was fast and friendly.  We got in and out in less than 30 minutes, and it coulda been faster were it not for the pace my son ate at.  If you haven't been there yet, give it a try, 'Courtside' is significantly better than 'Gametime'.

On to the game itself.  Knowing Bogut might be out for this game, and with Delfino assuredly out, I felt pretty sure that I'd be walking out of there with the Bucks losing their 3rd straight.  Memphis is a better team than a lot of people think (but understandable, given their past), and have a nice core of players (Mayo, Gay, Gasol).  Starting lineups were announced, and Bogut was suited up and in the lineup.  Things are looking better now.  Early on in the 1st, they get the ball to inside Bogut, and he quickly gets 6 points.  He's looking healthy - no signs of that bad back, early anyways.  The rest of the way its pretty much neck and neck, nobody leading by more than 8 the whole way.

While I didn't see the same menagerie of jackasses that Murdock and Stryker did (it will be hard to top that night I'm guessing), there was this old bag...

...who by 'hook or crook' (more hook) was gonna get herself one of those parachuting t-shirts (that she'd undoubtably never wear).  Yeah, that's right - she was swinging that cane around to clip the 'chutes.  And she nearly clocked at least 2 people in the row below her.  Best of all, she didn't manage to get a shirt.  What the hell is it about Bucks games and people with canes?  I'm sure I don't know.  Glad I brough the camera along (all blurry pics posted here courtesy of me)

Some other general observations from the game:

• I LOVE the Memphis road jerseys.  That metallic blue sheen just screams of the austentatiousness that more teams should exhibit.  Its showtime baby! Dress like it.
• Marc Gasol clearly didn't get beat with the ugly stick as hard as his brother on the Lakers (see pic below).  He's downright handsome relative to Pau, and actually has a jawline. Both are still hair covered marshmallows though.
• Rudy Gay is a very versatile player, with a sweet jumper.  I enjoyed his game. 
• Hasheem Thabeet is up from the D-League.  From the looks of things, he should head right back.
• Jennings played a pretty nice offensive game (aside from a few ill-advised shots), but he made Mike Conley Jr. look like a damn All-Star at times.  That 'foul' near the end of regulation he had on Conley was garbage though.
• Salmons continues to hit big shots when we need them.  Trading for him worked out better than I could have dreamed.
• People started to line up for the 'shoot a free throw on the court' after the game promo with 2 minutes left in regulation of a tight game.  They stayed there through the overtime.  I wonder if any of them knew there was even game was on.
• Overall a pretty good crowd at the BC - lower deck 90%+ full, and LOUD.
• Jersey of the day - A kid with a purple #20 Gary Payton.  Now that might just be a collectors item.  Was he even on the team long enough for them to manufacture those?

Big win for the Bucks, against another quality opponent (don't laugh, Memphis is above 0.500 in the West, currently fighting for the 8th playoff slot).  Let's hope we can stay healthy enough to hang on to the 5th or 6th seed (although I'd prefer the 6th if it means matching up with the geriatric Celtics).
Other than that, I'll leave you with this picture of Energee!, as a friendly reminder to get on down to the BC for some Bucks basketball.

  

Fear the Deer

Pay attention Wisconsin.  Even though March Madness is nearly upon us, and conference tourneys are in full swing, the Bucks are still playing.  And playing well.  With all due respect to Bo Ryan and Buzz Williams, the best basketball in Wisconsin right now is being played by your Milwaukee Bucks.  Hell, after beating the Celtics earlier this week, they are even starting to get some national attention.

They play hard and defend.  Bogut's progression as a big man has been impressive, the Salmons trade has worked out better than I imagined, and although Jennings' scoring is down he's running the offense quite efficiently for a rookie. As a group, they've bought into Skiles system, and its paying dividends right now.  It goes without saying that I'm really enjoying the season.  

Then this evening, my inbox received a reminder email on some reduced ticket prices for some of the upcoming games.  With it came the slightly modified Bucks logo graphic above, along with the slogan 'Fear the Deer'.  While I can take or leave the slogan, the blood-red eyes are a nice touch.  They're menacing and kinda bad-ass, without having to add a bull-snort to make the deer seem serious.  I really hope the Bucks keep this look. Maybe flashing the eyes red up on the scoreboard during critical stretches of the game would get the fans fired up and feeling serious about their Bucks.  Or maybe not, given some of the clowns that have been observed at the BC of late (see 'Fun Times at the Bradley Center').  Its better than some cartoon-style font that says 'Get Loud' or 'Make Noise' anyways.  Point is - I like it.  

Big Ten Men's Basketball Awards a Big Time Snub.

Okay, I don't usually use this blog to vent on issues pertaining to my beloved alma mater, I generally try to leave that to my own Gopher-centric blog.  But this is one time I'll make an exception, as I'm hot about this, and I'd like some non-Gopher fans' opinions. Preferably from those who actually watch Big Ten basketball.

Today the Big Ten revealed their Men's Basketball All-Big Ten teams, and for the most part it appeared they got it right. McCamey, Lucas, Turner, Hummel, and Moore got 1st team.  Fine, a great group that seems right to me (maybe Shurna over E'Twaun?).  2nd team? Sims, Shurna, Battle, JaJuan, and Hughes.  Yup. Seems OK.  3rd team?  Harris, Green, Morgan, Buford, Bohannon. Whatever, things get pretty subjective down on the 3rd team but that's fine.  Player of the Year - Evan Turner.  Very good, definitely deserved it.  So where's the snub you ask?

Gopher senior forward Damian Johnson, affectionately known as 'DJ Swat' in the Gopher blogosphere came up completely empty.  Not making 3rd team or even honorable mention was one thing.  But not making the fucking All-Defensive Team?  This is a snub in the truest sense of the word.  Damian led the Big Ten in steals (58 at 1.9 spg), and was third in blocks (57 at 1.9 bpg, and arguably inch-for-inch the best shot blocker in the conference, given his height relative to the other leading shot stuffers in the conference.

Members of this 2010 All-Defensive team include: Nash, Lauderdale, Jajuan, Kramer, and Hughes.  So who should Damian have supplanted?  Either Lauderdale, Nash, or JJ in my opinion.  Damian is a better all-around defender than any of these guys, and his numbers prove it (at least in the case of Lauderdale and Nash).  Both Lauderdale and Jajuan were slightly better shot blockers, but neither show up anywhere near the top 15 in steals.  And while its true that DJ is not quite as good a rebounder as those two, DJ's ability to defend on the ball, in the post, or on the top of the zone makes him a far more versatile defender than either of these two.  He's also probably the best help side defender in the conference.  Damian's combined rebound, blocks, and steals per game average is 8.2, while JaJuan Johnson is at 10.0, but heavily weighted towards rebounds (7.2 rpg).  Lauderdale is at an 8.0, with 3 times fewer steals per game.  Nash is at a paltry 6.1, and probably played more zone defense than anybody else on the list. Clearly, DJ Swat's balanced approach to defense is not appreciated by the coaches or media.  Which seems odd to me, because he causes all kinds of matchup problems for opposing teams.

What's even more frustrating to me though is that Larry Westbrook was the Gopher's lone representative on the awards sheet, as an All-Big Ten Honorable Mention. Not because Minnesota only got one award winner (I'm fine with that given the team's balance and depth), but because this award was clearly given to Westbrook because some media writer opened the Gopher's statbook, and saw that LW led the team in scoring (and only by a slim margin).  Westbrook contributed little more than scoring this year, while Johnson did everything.  Case in point, Senior Night was an analog for his entire career of filling up the stat sheet in ways other than just scoring - scoring 10 points while dishing out 11 assists, 5 boards, 3 blocks, and 3 steals.  In 23 minutes.  At least give him a fucking slight modicum of recognition.
Oh, by the way, 2 players from Iowa managed more accolades than Damian. Yeah, that seems about right.

Help! I think I'm supposed to like the Olympics - but I don't.

I like to think that I'm similar to most red-blooded American males who like their beer cold, their steaks rare, and their cars fast.  Above these things though, I love sports.  So why would I rather watch the Yogi-Yahooeys take the gold in the Laff-A-Lympics than the real Olympics?   Heavens to mergatroid already, what's wrong with me?

Maybe I'm overestimating the interest in the Winter Games this year, but it seems like people are into it in 2010.  There are a wide variety events to watch, and the venues and facilities are generally beautiful, but I just can't get into this stuff.  Even now with the last couple Olympic games being broadcast in full HD I can't get fired up.

I think my problem is rooted in the fact that I can't get excited over Olympic athletes in general - they're boring.  Sorry Michael Phelps, Shaun White, Lindsey Vonn - you are. Usain Bolt seems exciting, 'cause he's fast, but then I realize if he was, he'd be doing something more exciting in the sprinting offseason (is there such a thing?) - like catching passes from Drew Brees or stealing bases off Yadier Molina.  The other problem?  Your sports are boring.  Running 100 meters down a straight level track?  Boring.  Running 100 yards down the gridiron, dodging 11 angry defenders. Exciting.  Throwing a javelin 250 feet?  Meh.  Gunning down a guy headed for home from deep centerfield.  Thrilling.

Plus, I'm always skeptical that we're actually seeing the worlds best "athlete" in some of these niche sports.  Some of these Olympic events are so freaking niche that it seems only a handful of people actually compete worldwide.  I'd never know if I might have a supreme talent for ski jumping or skeleton because hell if I've ever had the resources or wherewithall to try it.  I could be the one of the world's best curlers in hiding, but you'd never know.  Because I don't care. And events like figure skating and diving, where the winner is determined solely on the scores given by judges irritate me as well, since there are inherent biases (and corruption) built into each judges mind. 

I know some people claim I should just enjoy the pure love for the sport some of these Olympic athletes show, because they aren't in it for the money.  But to me it always comes down to the fact that the most of the worlds best athletes find some way to play American or International professional sports for TONS of MONEY.  Admittedly, my hypocrisy shines through on this though, when I know that I'd rather watch a D-3 college basketball game, than the Olympics, knowing full well that 99.99% of those kids will never see dime one playing professionally.

And yes, I realize there are some sports in the Olympic games that I clearly don't find boring (basketball and hockey).  But the problem is I already watch those in the context of professional sports, so I'm not really inclined to sit through more games with international players I don't know.  Really after the original Dream Team, I lost interest even there.

So - to review I don't like the Olympics because:
1) the sports are boring
2) the athletes are boring
3) the niche sports are just that
4) the sports I like already play professional seasons

This is a plea.  Straighten me out on this dislike of the Olympics.  If there is a reason I should like them tell me.  Apparently I'm not smart enough on my own to figure what that reason is.

Oh, and for the record the Scoobie-Doobies can suck it.  What a bunch of losers.

Anybody want to give Charles Rogers a lift?

He's gonna need one in about 3 months, given his latest tale of unfulfilled NFL-caliber talent. This poor fool. Caught drinking at a Mexican restaurant in suburban Detroit, Rogers passed out and had to be hauled out by 911 emergency response. The use of alcohol of course was a violation of his probation and the substance abuse program he was in. So its off to the slammer for a few months now, with a suspended driving license to boot.

Oh ye of the porcelin collarbone, how far you hath fallen. Once the #2 overall pick in the 2003 NFL Draft, now back to being Oakland County jail inmate (he did some time earlier for drunk driving in '08). This dude had so much talent coming out of Michigan State, and I remember being so excited about getting him to be Joey's #1. Things looked real good early in his career too. He even caught 2 TDs in his first NFL game. Then the collarbone broke (twice), and things were never the same.

All I can say is, kids - drink your milk.

Bucks' balanced scoring no match for burlesque balancing act

Flew solo tonight at the Bucks game - as nobody wanted to join Gopher Bandanna Guy at the BC this evening. Such is life. Won't be the first time I attended a live sporting event on my own, and it won't be the last. All seven of you guys I offered the other ticket to, you suck. But enough of my self-pity.

The Bucks played well in front of a very sparse crowd (I essentially had section 218 all to my self), and had a very complete game on offense, getting everybody into the mix, with 7 Bucks in double figures. Roko Ukic (pronounced 'Oooo-kich') had his coming out party, scoring 17 points in 25 minutes, and not during cleanup time either. He boldly asserted himself into the offense, at one point forcefully waving Bogut to clear out for him. Bogut later appeared to reprimand Ukic after he drew a foul in the lane, but Ukic continued to be aggressive. I like this kid. I think he and Jennings could develop into a nice point-guard duo for the Bucks for years come, since we all know Ridnour and his bloated contract will be jettisoned as soon as possible, despite some admirable contributions to the team.

But I'm not fooled by this Ukic performance either. The Raptors have no defense whatsoever (give up an average of 108 ppg). And when guards Jarret Jack, DeMar DeRozen, and Sonny Weams are on the floor no one defending them is too worried they'll go off. Not sure if Bell was just being rested, or Skiles wanted a different look, (or if he knew he could get away with playing Ukic tonight) Hopefully we'll get to see a bit more of Ukic after this performance though, so we know what we have with him.

But let's talk halftime. They trotted out the scantily clad Lilia Stepanova, who proceeded to put on an seductive burlesque-type dance, combined with a couple contortionist archery stunts thrown in. No question it was hot. Very hot. (see her performance in PHX here). Probably too hot for the kids in attendance. And it didn't help that the BC camera men caught every crotch shot possible. But hell if I cared, as my son was sound asleep in his bed 40 minutes away. Damned fine entertainment. Well done by the BC events staff.

The best part though was just as she completed her performance, and started walking off the court, Luke Ridnour comes streaking onto the court from the opposite end, and then pulls up about 5-10 feet short of her and shoots a jumper. Either he wanted to get his warm up shots in a hurry, or just wanted a closer look at Ms. Stepanova's posterior. I'm guessing the latter, since he beat the rest of his teammates onto the court by 20-30 seconds.

The Bucks then dominated in the 4th quarter, and blah, blah, blah.... just check out Lilia.

Big Ten Football Fan Polling

Check out this very interesting polling of Big Ten fans, conducted by SI.com.
Some highlights:

-98.2 % of Buckeye fans consider Michigan to be their biggest rival. But only 96.0% of Michigan fans consider OSU to be their biggest rival. This conclusively proves that Buckeyes are smarter than Wolverines (I know, I'm surprised too). But really, how this isn't a clean 100% on both sides is beyond me.

-9.3% of Badger fans consider Michigan to be their biggest rival. But 0.0% of Michigan fans consider Wisconsin to be their biggest rival. This disconnect is amusing to me. In fact 0.2 % of Michigan fans thought Northwestern was a bigger rival than Wisconsin. In the same vein, 1.3% of Minnesota fans think OSU is their biggest rival. We've had historically less success against the Buckeyes than any other Big Ten team. Who are these idiots?

-Northwestern is widely considered to have the most polite fans overall. That's easy though, when nobody shows up for the games. No one there = no one to heckle you.

-Ohio State and Wisconsin consistently shows up in every other teams top 4 for the rudest fans for visitors. Ohio State looks to have Wisconsin beat by a significant margin though...

-Only 2.9% consider Minnesota to have the favorite stadium to visit in the conference. Those are Metro-dump #s. Look for that to climb substantially in the coming years. 'The Bank' is phenomenal.

Ridiculous Statement of the Day - Colin Cowherd

A rare occurance happened on ESPN radio this morning - Big Ten Football was mentioned. Now - while you are picking up yourself up off the floor from the chair you just fell out of, note that it was in regards to the Notre Dame football coaching job, tenuously held by 10-year contract beneficiary, Charlie Weis. Mr. Cowherd contended that there were several outstanding young coaches that Notre Dame could immediately replace Weis with that would be an upgrade. Among these were Boise State's Chris Petersen and Northwestern's own Pat Fitzgerald. And while I agree that either of these guys would be an upgrade to Weis's bumbling tenure, I don't agree with Cowherd's ridiculous follow up statement to the mention of Fitzgerald. His assertion that 'Pat Fiztgerald is the best coach in the Big Ten'.

Groan. Now I know that the luster hasn't yet worn off on the Wildcats big victory over Iowa last weekend, and to a national sporting media that seemed like a massive upset. Fitzgerald deserves credit for having his team get a very tough road win. But for those of us who actually follow the Big Ten on a week in, week out basis - we've seen Iowa dodge bullets all year. They needed two blocked kicks in the 4th quarter to overcome Northern Iowa for crying out loud. Their number was finally up, and with Stanzi knocked out of the game, it gave NU the edge to hang on and steal the win.

I quickly sorted thru NU's record under Fitzgerald since he took over for the late Randy Walker. Short of the fact that he recently took down the highly ranked Squawk-eyes, there isn't much to hang your hat on. Since 2006, he's managed to lose to teams like New Hampshire, Nevada, Duke, and Syracuse. Yes, he's young. Yes, he's made NU competitive again. He's a nice story, given that he's an Wildcat alum from their Rose Bowl team and a suburban Chicago native. He's passionate and fiery. A great interview too. But best coach in the Big Ten? C'mon. 25 and 22, and 4 games under 0.500 in the Big Ten just don't qualify you to be in that discussion.

Molly Cools rules and so does Brandon Jennings

Bucks home opener tonight. I expected to take my oldest son with for the game, but his Saturday morning attrocious behavior and smart mouth cost him a trip to the BC. That meant finding a last-minute sitter, and going with the Mrs. (Gopher Bandanna Gal). It also meant the evening was wide open for some pre-game adult beverages!

We got downtown a little after 6:30pm and had an hour to kill. Molly Cools, an oyster bar/'seafood tavern' was staring us in the face on the walk over, and I had heard good things from a few friends. After settling down in the bar and checking out the menu, the happy hour specials were looking real good, but it was now past 6pm. No worries, it was happy hour all night on Halloween. That meant I was getting 44 fluid ounces of Bells 2-hearted IPA on tap for $5.50, while the wife took on the same quantity of Miller Light for $4. Sweet. With just a little over 30 minutes to go before tip-off, we downed the brews (ok, the Mrs. got about 30 oz down, admirable for her though), while chowing down some delicious coconut shrimp, and establishing a nice numbing contact buzz. In and out in 30 minutes, and strangely enough meeting former Golden Gopher DE Keith Lipka's sister (the hostess, wearing an authentic #99 Gopher football jersey for Halloween). Being a half-season ticket holder for this season, I believe I may just make 'Cools' my pre-game joint of choice, particularly since I love seafood and IPA on tap.

On to the game. After a lackluster showing in the first half, the Bucks turned it on in the 3rd quarter, outscoring the Pistons 36-14. Rookie Brandon Jennings got hot at just the right time and took the quarter over, draining a couple 3's and slashing to the basket on a sweet lay-in (this despite being called 'Brad Jennings' by the guest player intros, and 'Greg Jennings' by the female game MC). The Pistons made a charge back in the 4th, but the Bucks held them off, keyed by a backcourt steal by Jennings with about a minute to go. Good stuff. The Bucks may only win 35 games this year, but this kid is going to be fun to watch all season.

Other home opener observations:

-Disappointingly small crowd, no announced attendance, so you know it wasn't good. The upper deck looked to be about 20% full. I'd guess about 11,000. Ugh.

-Hakim Warrick plays HARD, and works hard to get the ball inside and draw fouls.

-Gadzuric appeared to have outplayed Bogut in all facets of the game (yes, including offense)

Random Jersey Watch:

-Colt McCoy U of Texas alternate black and burnt orange jersey (paired with an alternate color red & black Brewers hat)

-Eddie Royal Broncos jersey

As I'm hitting up half the home games this year, I'll keep spotting bizzare sports attire choices at the BC and sharing them.

Where's Bob Griese? He's out getting a hamburger.

If you watched the OSU-Minnesota game this Saturday, you may have caught this little gem of broadcast professionalism in a lull in the game where the color commentators Bob Griese and Chris Spielman were briefly talking about the NASCAR standings. When Spielman asked "Where's Juan Pablo Montoya" in the points standings, Griese chuckled and suggested "He's out eating a taco."

Groan. That's the best thing he could come up with to say? And its especially moronic since Juan Pablo Montoya is Colombian, and tacos are believed to have originated in Mexico. A classic 'I guess they all look alike to you Bob' moment. Luckily for ESPN, Spielman had the decency to NOT rebutle with this, as I would have.

This was capped off with an awkward, and poorly timed on-air apology from Griese to Montoya, as the broadcast closed out. I guess we should be thankful Griese didn't know Montoya was Colombian, or he might have suggested he was 'out candying up his nose'. Phew. ESPN really dodged a bullet there.

Week 5 - Big Ten Predictions

5 conference matchups this week folks. Wisconsin is off so Bielema can finally have that Hawkeye tattoo surgically removed (or as I call it, "The Dark Mark of Lord Hayden Fry"). Everyone's favorite controversial dancing mascot, Chief Illini-wek is 'honored' here, as I think Illinois will get their first B10 win. Here’s how I seem things shaking out:

Indiana @ Northwestern (11:00 am CT)

I like the confidence IU gained back last week over Illinois, after their debacle against UVA. QB Ben Chappell looked good, and IU’s defense did a good job containing Juice. Look for that to repeat against Kafka.

Indiana 27, Northwestern 20

Minnesota @ Ohio State (11:00 am CT)
Nothing worse than going into the Horseshoe the week after an OSU loss. Tressel has lost back-to-back games just once during his tenure. The Gopher offense has gone from mediocre to dreadful, and OSU’s ‘Silver Bullet’ Defense is very good. Not a good combo. My Gophers only avoid getting shut out thanks to some late game hurry-up drives.

OSU 24, Minnesota 10

Illinois @ Purdue (11:00 am CT)

I’m calling for the classic let down game here. Purdue parties just a little too hardy this week, and isn’t quite as ready for the Illini as they should be. Illinois steals one on the road for their first Big Ten win, and Arrelious Benn finally gets in the endzone for a couple scores.

Illinois 21, Purdue 20

Penn State @ Michigan (2:30 pm CT)

Taking Michigan at home for the upset is tempting for me, but Penn State’s stellar LB corps are finally getting healthy, and Royster and Clark seem to be hitting their mid-season stride. Michigan hangs around for 3 quarters before PSU closes them out in the 4th.

Penn State 30, Michigan 17

Iowa @ Michigan State (6:05 pm CT)
Another road game that could be deceptively close. Iowa is playing some of the best football in the country right now, but winning on the road in back-to-back weeks in the Big Ten is awfully tough. MSU’s RBs are dinged up a bit, and that lack of depth might be the difference. That, plus Stanzi seems to have gotten all the really bad turnovers out of his system.
Iowa 17, MSU 13

What's wrong with this picture?

If you watched this "game" yesterday, know the the quarter, down, and distance during this play. And if you know anything about NFL football and quarterbacks, you obviously know exactly what's wrong with this picture.

Okay - for those of you who didn't waste their time watching a depleted Lions team go in to Lambeau for an old-fashioned beatdown, I'll deal you in. Here's the situation:

With 2 minutes and change on the clock in the 3rd quarter, its first and goal on the 3. Rodgers drops back to pass and is quickly brought down by Julian Peterson in an ugly mess of downed linemen. He fumbles, and the Lions recover. What's the big deal you say? The problem is that the score was 26 to 0, Packers.

Yeah, but its the NFL and teams have come back in the 4th quarter from some pretty steep deficits you say? How 'bout a few more details. The Lions hadn't been able to move the ball much all day (149 yards for the game, and only 34 in the 4th), were on their 3rd string QB, and their best and most explosive player was injured and sitting out for the game. Figure out the problem yet?

Yup - you got it. Why was Rodgers even in the game at this point? Somebody who bleeds green and gold, please explain this to me. Otherwise I'm just going to believe that Mike McCarthy is a blithering idiot. Why not bring Matt Flynn in? Get your back up some real time snaps. If the Lions storm down the field and make it a threatening 26-7, bring Rodgers back in if you feel the need. Any O-line who yields 5 sacks to a Detroit front 4 who could only dress 6 men for the game due to injuries should: 1) Be ashamed of themselves; and 2) Not be trusted with protecting your franchise QB in mop up time, as early as it may have been. Coach McCarthy, you obviously had the team well-prepared to play. But did you really believe Drew Stanton and Dennis Northcutt could potentially pull out a 4 TD forth quarter and wrest this game away?

Now full disclosure here. I've masochistically been a Lions fan for what is approaching 30 years now. I didn't enjoy the beating my Kitties took Sunday, but that plays absolutely no factor here. Keeping Rodgers on the field at this point in the game was just straight up a stupid decision. Potentially one that ruins the season. And for those who didn't see the 4th, Rodgers played the entire quarter (although he almost exclusively handed the ball off). Please tell me there is a Packer fan out there who wants to challenge me on this notion. I'm pretty feisty today, given that my two football teams collectively scored zero points all weekend...UGH.

Week 4 Big Ten Football Predictions

5 conference matchups this week folks, only Michigan is out of conference taking on Delaware State.Once again my two cents and prediction on each of the games:

Ohio State @ Purdue (11:00 am CT)
Could things get any worse for Purdue? Now they have to play Ohio State? Yeah, they could be worse – they could be Illinos. Plus, they’re not at the Horseshoe. Unlike Illinois, Purdue really isn’t as bad as their record shows. They’ve been turnover prone, and that’s killed them. If they can manage to hold on to the ball they can make this a game. OSU edges it out, but Purdue gives them a scare.
OSU 24, Purdue 23

Northwestern @ Michigan State (11:00 am CT)
I have watched NU in a few games now, and I truly don’t believe they are any good. MSU is not good either, but they appear to have more talent at the skill positions, so I will go with Sparty in a close one (cause Kafka is a decent QB).
Michigan State 31, Northwestern 27

Wisconsin @ Ohio State (11:00 am CT)Tough game to call. Iowa seems to be the superior team, but they are coming off a close win at home against Michigan, and Wisconsin is at home and eager to redeem their pathetic performance against The Ohio State University. I say the Fadgers take this one.
Wisconsin 20, Iowa 14

Minnesota @ Penn State (2:30 pm CT)The Gophs manage to hang around for a bit due to some excellent special teams play and a defense that creates turnovers. Penn State has too much talent for Minnesota to overcome though.
Penn State 31, Minnesota 23

Illinois @ Indiana (6:00 pm CT)
Bottom of the B-10 barrel battle here. How did this become the prime time game? Awful. Will Illinois continue to keep playing worse every week, or will they get back on track and beat an Indiana team that just got whipped by ACC also-ran Virginia. I like IU at home to stick it to Ron Zook and friends.
Indiana 30, Illinois 13

Big Ten Football - Week 3 Predictions

Rather than subject you folks to my weekly Gopher football take, I’ll spare you the boring details I’ll just give my quick take on the B-10 matchups for the week. For those who want their still want their Golden Gopher fix (and I’m fairly certain that’s no one), feel free to check my own Gopher football blog, “Give ‘Em Hell Goldy”

Only 4 conference matchups this week, as PSU takes on mighty Eastern Illinois, Northwestern battles with the Miami of Ohio, and Indiana goes to UVA.
Here’s my two cents and prediction on each of the games:

Michigan State @ Illinois (11:00 am CT)
Is Illinois really as bad as it seems? I think we’ll finally know the answer to this question after this week. The Illini are having a nightmare season, culminated this week with the benching of QB Juice Williams. Wow. No one really seems to know what State is all about either yet, but we know that their secondary is dreadful. I look for Arrelious Benn to finally find the endzone this week, a couple times, with backup Eddie McGee slinging him the ball. Always tough to win on the road in the Big Ten, but MSU is coming off an emotional win over their rival. I think Illinois pulls this one out due to their sheer desperation and homefield advantage.
Illinois 30, Michigan State 27

Purdue @ Minnesota (11:00 am CT)
A cliched ‘must-win’ game for both teams, but the Boilers are the worst defense in the Big Ten in almost every category. I look for the Gopher offense to find its groove, and I have absolutely no reason to believe that Purdue can stop Weber-to-Decker. Bolden will have a few big plays, but the Gopher defense will slow him enough to win. The best news for Gopher defenders? Bolden weighs 62 lbs less than John Clay, so they might actually be able to bring him down to the turf.
Minnesota 35, Purdue 23

Wisconsin @ Ohio State (2:30 pm CT)
The Badgers looked solid against Minnesota last week, and the running game got a head of steam going, while OSU demolished a hapless IU on the road, and Terrelle Pryor looked all-conference. I like the OSU defense to slow Clay enough to keep the ball in Pryor’s hands and limit Wisconsin’s TOP control efforts. Buckeyes in a close one at the 'Shoe.
Ohio State 20, Wisconsin 17

Michigan @ Iowa (7:05 pm CT)
Cocksure QB Tate Forcier (and if you don’t think so check out his ‘family website’) has looked pretty damn good as a frosh this year in Rich Rod’s system. That all ends this week with a visit to Iowa City. Iowa’s defense is stellar, and they will harass QBs Forcier and Robinson all evening. Iowa’s offense won’t roll it up on Michigan but they’ll do enough to win the B-10 nitecap.
Iowa 24, Michigan 16