Checking in on the pulse of St. Louis

I would have thought Saint Looey would be into full bore NFL draft hysteria at this time of the year, but we all know how much they love their precious Redbirds! A quick jump over to the Cardinals Marketing Department Home Page St. Louis Post-Dispatch Web page, it was discovered beat man Joe Strauss recently had a chat with the puritan fans of all things baseball integrity. A few of note:

Jim Hency: Afternoon Joe, Would love to be there in person but not possible. I have a comment more than a question. I am really glad that Jim Edmonds is back in baseball, I have always been a fan of Jim and always will be but it was bad enough when he signed with the Cubs but even worse with the Brewers. Not because that will make them so much better but the fact that he may have to lower his professionalism to their low life level really bothers me. If he starts yanking out his shirt after a victory I don't know how much my admiration for him will continue. Do you think he will lower himself to that trick?
Joe Strauss: I would hope so, if only to feed the outrage many Cardinal backers have for the Brewers. Solution to being outraged: Win the game. The ChatMeister must admit, however, to being less than impressed with the Brewers' choreographed HR celebrations.

LLIPTWWTQB Reaction: Well James, you're onto something here. Now that Cammy has jumped to Bawstahn it would be very rude to continue the disgraceful and heinous untucking of the jersey's. What could make him sink to an even more Brewers low life level? Probably if Ken Macha got shit faced during spring camp and decided that despite making millions per year, it's a better idea to drive around town hammered, falling asleep in a running car at a stop light. But to recap, untucking jerseys after victories is a FAR worse offense. And Joe, what didn't impress you? They all fell over at almost the exact same time! They're not synchronized swimmers you know, cut them a little "human error" slack.

Jon: Given the look of the division, I think the Cards should win it fairly easily again this year. That said, who is the biggest challenger to the Cards? Is it the Cubs again, an up and coming Reds team, or none of the above?
Joe Strauss: I don't know how to quantify "fairly easily." If healthy, the Cubs are legitimate contenders. They addressed chemistry and outfield issues over the winter. If Carlos Zambrano is again "Big Z," this could be an interesting race. Even with Kyle Lohse's season-long struggles in 2009, the Cardinals had much go right with their pitching last year. Any hiccup only adds to a potential match race for the division. I'm bullish on the Reds but question if they have enough depth for six months. Aaron Harang is a wild card. If he should rediscover his form of three years ago, the Reds rotation suddenly grows teeth.


LLIPTWWTQB Reaction: You both have pissed off the Pirates Baseball Club.

Step 1: Take Supplements. Step 2: Hit Baseball

Mark McGwire is the new St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach.

Just read that last sentence again, slowly. I'm not even making it up.

It's almost as if Tony LaRussa was coming up with a list of ridiculous demands prior to agreeing to manage again for another year, and this was one of them.

Other possible LaRussa demands prior to returning for 2010:

1. That the club remove all ignition interlock devices from his personal vehicles.

2. A "hot production assistant like Steve Phillips got from ESPN."

3. That Ned Yost become manager of the Milwaukee Brewers again.

4. A closer.

5. A red Snuggie.

Just enjoy it

Let's sift through some of the righteous St. Louis Cardinals quotes, baseball's gatekeepers of all things pure, after their gem last night in Chavez Ravine.

"It makes me sick, absolutely sick to my stomach," shortstop Brendan Ryan said.

"about as tough a loss as you can have, except we still have an opportunity to play (Game 3) Saturday. It was a very, very tough loss. Very disappointing." --Tony LaRussa

But those both seem way too normal of quotes after an epic loss. Any player from any team would echo similar thoughts right? Wait a tick!

"He lost the ball in the 50,000 white towels shaking in front of his face," starting pitcher and would-be hero Adam Wainwright said. "It doesn't seem really fair that an opposing team should be allowed to shake white towels when there's a white baseball flying through the air. Dodger blue towels — how about that?"

THERE IT IS! Hard to disagree with Wainwright, fans should not be able to wear any articles of white clothing when playing against the Cardinals, it makes it much too difficult to play the game as it was meant to be played when Lord Pujols invented the game in his backyard in the Dominican. Waino's even more correct considering the outfielders for both teams lost 23 balls in the white towels throughout that game. It's also very unfair to make the Cardinals players adjust their internal clocks to west coast time.